While Down in the Dung Heap

 A chapel speaker came to Taylor and talked to us about a vehicle accident which robbed the lives of his wife and children. Leaving him completely alone, he thought there was absolutely no way his pain could get any worse. He was at his lowest point. There was no going any lower.

And yet, he said something I will never forget:

"Every time I looked down, I saw the face of Christ on the cross. When I thought I was at my lowest, Jesus stooped lower still."

Jesus Christ left heavenly glory to come to Earth, die a brutal death he did not  deserve, and meet people in their deepest suffering. He is the relational answer to a world of hurt and brokenness. He was there with Job on the dung heap. He suffered a death we cannot fathom to a world that shook their fists at him and said, "how could you ever let this happen to me?"

After reading chapter 31 of Job, I feel for Job. I understand why he would feel so fist-shakingly robbed and discarded. He really does seem to be the pinnacle of human suffering and hardship. And yet in chapter 42, his tone is completely different:

 “I know that you can do all things;
    no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’
    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand,
    things too wonderful for me to know."

He has transformed his vocabulary from "God, don't you know that I am good?" to "God, I know that you are good." From despondent to delight, Job humbly confesses that he spoke to God through his limited-visibility lens. He thought  God was out of the picture. Now, he knows God is actively and divinely involved in his life, working plans and purposes that cannot be thwarted. 

A few verses later, Job says, "I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." 

A  total transformation. He goes from standing on his dung  heap and trying to prove his worthiness to God, trying to prove that God is wrong and does not know best,  to burying his face and repenting - confessing that the plans of the Lord are far too wonderful for him to even comprehend. 

I'm baffled. How does such a change take  place? How do you go from accusation to ashes in a moment? I think Job 42:5  has our answer: "My ears had heard of you, but  know my eyes  have seen you." 

Information became experience. Images of who God was became intimacy with God himself. He saw and experienced God. Because in the midst of his boil-scratching,  God stooped lower still to be with Job. And that comfort, that presence, that peace, changed everything. It  brought Job to repentance. It  changed his outlook on life. He understood  God's plans and God's purpose, not because he got answers, but because he got God himself.

Our chapel speaker got no answers as  to why his wife  and kids were killed. But he got God - a loving and merciful Father who stoops down to us on our dung heap while we  shake our fists at him. 

I don't have answers to this dark season I have been walking through - the anxiety, uncertainty, waiting, and wondering why my path felt so unclear. But I  have God. I know God stoops lower still than even my lowest point. And in the midst of my fist-shaking, my panic attacks, my times of frustration and fear, I get God. 

He stoops lower still. 

⁴