Never Will Forget
It seems quite unlikely that I'd forget the timeline of events which seemed to endlessly crescendo worse and worse throughout the past week. But I believe firmly in the power of journaling, so I'll make sure that timeline is secured here too. These are soul-shaping moments, it is certain. God-revealing. It's a bit like driving to work on humid August mornings, not realizing the windshield was foggy until the air conditioning kicks in and alas, we can see. We thought we knew who God was as a comforter. How clear we can finally see!
It was Tuesday, August 8th. School started in two days. It had been a busy two days, so I sat in my room in the dark, racing scissors across college-themed pennants for my bulletin board. Freshmen on campus tours peered through my window while I tried to remain unseen, tried to ignore the text from my dad saying they were taking Mom to the ER.
Peace triumphed over fear for much of that evening, mostly because I was oblivious to the gravity of the situation. Mom had been driven with lights and sirens to Greenwood -- the ICU. That seemed serious, but she was texting. Joyful. Witty as always, making jokes about the ambulance ride. I fell asleep soundly.
The Lord, I truly believe, woke me up at 3:20 in the morning. I checked my phone. We had few updates, so I clicked on the Bible app. The verse of the day? Shocker: Philippians 4:8: Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things. Okay. I could dwell on truth: God was in control. Mom was acting like herself. This was fine.
3:21 brought a text from Dad: They were hurrying her into surgery to drain fluid from around her heart and lungs. "Can I call you?" I replied. We talked for the next forty minutes, praying and praising God for the little miracles so far. Finally, I could hear a nurse in the waiting room step out to say, "We're all done!"
Relief, but only momentary. Certainly not enough to fall asleep. It was a sweet time of writing, praying, singing, crying, playing word puzzles with Nana, who was also, of course, awake.
August 9th was the day before school. For Mom, it was spent in the ICU. Tests upon tests. We didn't tell many people what was going on -- we didn't even know ourselves. We heard our mom was exhausted and expecting more tests throughout the day, so we opted for a FaceTime rather than in-person visit. Cam and Riley came over and we wept together at the uncertainty. We stayed on FaceTime for a long time.
School started on the 10th. My students were good. I'm not just saying I had peace -- I truly had incomprehensible peace as I rambled through the syllabus and cringey get-to-know-you work. It was a fine day. We assumed no news was good news, so we operated as normal. Cam, Riley, Christen and I planned to visit Mom and Dad (still in Greenwood) after school.
We had an abundantly joyful visit. I had a friend crush on Mom's nurse, Cyndi, who might have been the coolest person I've ever met. We prayed together, heard funny stories of nutty nurses, and enjoyed mooching off Mom's sweet treats that she wouldn't eat. She felt well, looked strong, and had most of the fluid off her lungs. Other than a cough, we assumed she would be cleared to go within the next couple of days.
In fact, we were so optimistic, that when school released on Friday, I called and said I probably wouldn't come down to visit that day. I figured she'd be home by the weekend -- I'd come and see her then. "I'll be around tomorrow!" I chirped while walking to the park. I was planning to bask in the sun while Joe had tennis. I'd order a pizza from Greek's and we'd enjoy a much-needed night of rest.
And then our world turned upside down.
(To be continued)