Things I'm Looking Forward To

It's January -- the bleakest, darkest month of the year. Far away from any school breaks, summer, or fun holidays. Void of all sunshine, outside time, and light. Januarys have always been hard for me. If you've been on this blog for a while, you likely remember the Whole30 pit of despair circa 2022. Or perhaps the perpetual sunlessness that brought seasonal depression last year. 

This year, I was determined to go in with a bit more gusto. After all, I'm coming off two of the most depressing months of my entire life -- no exaggeration -- and I'm ready to turn a corner. I'm ready for things to start looking up. 

This requires quite a bit of effort. Joy is a lot more hard-won than a lot of people consider. While Christians should be the most joyful people on Earth, that's not necessarily our default setting. Jesus was known as the Man of Sorrows. Over a third of the Bible is made up of desperate lamentations -- righteous complaints to God about the current state of affairs. 

But I set out ready. Once I recovered from my miscarriage surgery, I made a plan to start the fight for joy. I started waking up at 5 AM. (I'll write more on why that is a good thing in the days to come). I created a spot I would look forward to -- my favorite side of our reclining couch, right near the space heater, perfectly in reach of the place where I set my coffee. I even started using Dunkin' coffee grounds, which are wildly overpriced but create the perfect tasting brew. 

I got back into the gym. I started reading for fun again. I deep cleaned, lit candles, got the best skin care routine in the book. I plugged back into church, drank plenty of water, ate chocolate, hung with friends. And, perhaps most notably, I started journaling big prayers. 

One of the most recent prayers was praising God for being a God of abundance. He does provide good gifts to His children, and Scripture is laden with stories of His faithfulness that was too abundant to count. I started writing down all the opportunities He had laid before us in the year to come. It was called "Things I'm Looking Forward To" and it went a little something like this: 

1. We are building a house that we'll get to inhabit in June.

2. We are attending a faith-based Biblical counseling training that will equip us to counsel people.

3. We are taking our youth group to an incredibly fun summer camp that we absolutely adored last summer.

4. We are taking two vacations -- one as just the two of us, and one with my whole family in the summer.

5. We are one day closer to Heaven. 

As I reflected on the list, I realized, with a new sense of sobriety, that it's possible that every single drop of numbers 1-4 could be taken away. The house might crumble. We could lose possession of the lot. Perhaps the counseling training will desist or we won't be able to go. That summer camp might get shut down. Those vacations could be halted by hurricanes, or terrible weather, or travel troubles, or death! Seriously -- any one of us could die any second! 

And I'm not a glass-half-empty type of person. Nor am I anxiously waiting with fists clenched for the next bad thing to happen. But I do sort of expect it now. COVID taught us that nothing is certain. My mom's cancer taught us that even more. The loss of our first baby confirmed all that we had just learned to be true: Many are the plans in the heart of man, but it is the Lord's way that prevails (Proverbs 19:21). 

So while it is certainly not wrong to look forward to things, there is really only one thing worth putting all of our hope in: that is the one thing that will never perish, spoil, or fade -- Heaven. 

What a gift this certainty is! It is forever, it is promised, and it is closer than it was yesterday. It is an eternal dwelling place with the God who redeemed our souls. It is the reunification point where we will see our mom and baby again. It is the worship center of every tribe tongue and nation. It is perfect. And for those of us washed by the blood of Christ, it is an absolute guarantee. 

I hope you'll consider putting your hope in this very Heaven. Trust Jesus, who longs to redeem sinners and call them home to glory. Surrender to Him for a guaranteed inheritance better than any vacation or summer camp. And look forward to the fulfillment of that promise! 


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