Music in the Mornings

Some days I feel very much like writing with nothing much to say at all. That is a  little bit true of today, although I am reflecting on a lesson learned that has overwhelmingly helped my mornings become the highlight of my  day. I am stretching by all measures to avoid sounding self-righteous, and want to fervently remind myself and my readers that this is a  miraculous extension of God's grace, nothing I am able to do by my own power.

It's also helpful if I first point out  my sinfulness. Reflecting all the way back to Christmas break, my spiritual life has been a season of drought. Busyness breeds callousness; winter makes my soul sad and slow to see God's splendor; and I oftentimes find myself using devotionals as nothing more than a break from grading or lesson planning. Our small group got a new devotional book and I thought, "this will change everything!" only to find that I didn't connect with the author's writing style and the devotional left me more annoyed than anointed (and I know anointed is not really the right word there, but the rhythm of that alliteration is magical. Sue me). 

So things were not going well. On top of that, I just hated getting out of bed in the mornings. School started at 8:35, so I oftentimes wasn't out of bed until 7:35, which left me rushing through all things - especially quiet time with God.

Pastor Jeff has preached a sermon (that we have now heard twice) which talks about the beauty of God. He likens God's presence to that of a spouse and talks about how beautiful it is to just enjoy extended amounts of time with your spouse. Then, he asks, "When is the last time you set aside time to enjoy God that way?" Ouch! You mean those ten to fifteen distracted minutes in the morning while I'm also answering emails and crock-potting salsa chicken so that we can rush from one thing to the next? Yeah, I would say my time with God has not exactly been beautiful or enjoyable.

Convicted by this, I prayed for help. It was a simple prayer: God, I need help getting out of bed in the mornings. Sure enough, his grace proved to be abundant. I started having energy in the mornings. Then, it became God, give me a clear mind. This is challenging. I so often give into the temptation of to-do lists, thereby causing neglect of focus and fervor.

Surely again, the Lord helped me focus. So I'm out of bed and clear-minded...now how do I enjoy this? This is where the lesson comes in. I think we have to stop thinking about time in the Word as a regimented, stoic pilgrimage marked by routine and nothing more. I felt like there were all these things I had to do because, well, I had always done them. But I don't ALWAYS do the same thing with Joe! We don't always go to the same restaurants or play the same games...that would be miserable!

So why do I feel like I have to do it with God? Over the past couple of weeks, I have wanted to make this time more special. More intimate. A more joyful dwelling in the quiet peace of my heavenly Father. So what? I lit a candle. I started to always make sure the coffee is ready so that I don't have to wait for it. I doodled or painted scripture for a few minutes before praying and opening his Word. I pray in different ways, sometimes just focusing on confession or gratitude and sometimes reiterating the outline of the Lord's prayer. Then I would read and read, listening to praise hymns and eating overnight oats, and all of a sudden, mornings started to become my favorite time of day.

It's been a beautiful transformation granted only by God's grace. But I have loved the lessons learned - God's presence is meant to be enjoyed, cherished and treasured. It should not be rushed or routine. It should not neglect Scripture and prayer, but it ought to include some other acts of worship as well. 

And there are plenty of days I mess up. I wake up in a bad mood or go straight to my computer and start working. Some days I stay in bed so long I have to hustle and some days I instinctively pull out my phone in the middle of a prayer. I'm so sinful, wretched beyond repair. And yet God is showing me every morning how much I need him in order to even want him, and I think that brings him glory. 

Try a little music in the mornings - this, combined with prayer and Scripture, poetry or painting or some hearty breakfast - might just be chicken soup for the spiritual soul. 

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