A Letter to My Future Self
Dear Future Cali,
It's funny, now, because time has passed and the days behind you seem so small. College flew by and now you're out doing what you've always dreamed of doing - or maybe not, but you're doing what God has planned for you. You're seeing that life is a mist and it's passing so quickly, but you've come a long way. You have learned so much and God has shaped you in ways you never thought possible. So as the time passes and sunsets turn to sunrises and years go by, don't forget the lessons you have learned.
Don't forget the way God found you when you were at your absolute worst. Don't forget how he continued to wait for you and pursue you through your rebellion, and how he welcomed you with open arms when you finally took a step toward repentance. Don't forget how sneaking around with the wrong guy destroyed you, but worse, how it destroyed your parents' trust and the way your siblings looked up to you. Don't forget that feeling of freedom when you finally decided to be done with deceit, and don't ever forget the life it brought to your eyes when you decided to run toward His marvelous light. When you feel like choosing sin, don't forget this.
Don't forget how he provided for you time and time...and time again. Don't forget how you thought you wouldn't be able to go to your dream school and he paved the way. Don't forget how you felt so trapped in one living situation, and how He brought you to your harbor with community like never before. Don't forget how he became a shield around you when you stood at the bus stop in Belize and the man who approached you didn't attack you. Don't forget how he has calmed the storms in your life and reconciled friendships that you thought were gone forever. Don't forget the way He has provided in His perfect timing every single time. When you feel like choosing fear, don't forget this.
Don't forget how many times you tried to fill your heart with boys. Don't forget how that left you broken and empty and longing for more. Don't forget how many hours you spent at the gym in hopes of achieving a perfect body, only to find that the build-up of your body brought a tear-down of your soul. Don't forget about the memories you missed out on because you were too obsessed with lifting and being fit. Don't forget about the way you cried over missed points and failed tests. Don't forget that you made it through school just fine, and your grades never defined you, and your scores or salaries never will. Don't forget that time that you felt so overcome by the presence of the Holy Spirit that for the first time in your life, you felt like you could be single and still be whole. When you feel like choosing idolatry, don't forget this.
Don't forget about the joy that came in the mornings after hardship. Don't forget about the way your friends granted forgiveness and your Father granted freedom. Don't forget about the sunrises that dry up every drop of rain and don't forget about the way your tear-stained pillows were early-morning reminders of life-changing lessons. Don't forget to rejoice in the midst of sorrow because God uses things like death and scoliosis and failed friendships and breakups to build a dependence on him that otherwise would never be. Don't forget about the joy that comes from simply knowing Jesus, and don't forget that this Earth is the worst thing you will experience because of your long-awaited hope in Heaven. When you feel like choosing despair, don't forget this.
Don't forget about the stomachaches that came from kissing a boy you weren't even dating or having conversations marked by slander and sin. Don't forget about the way sin weighs you down and tires you out, because the devil wants to destroy you. Don't forget that the Bible is encouraging and the internet is not, and the best way to have a friend is to be one. Don't forget that beauty is fleeting and being popular, in the grand scheme of things, means absolutely nothing. Don't forget that the things you said to try to be cool ended up damaging people's perception of your perfect Savior, Jesus, and don't forget that nothing on this earth was ever meant to satisfy you. When you feel like choosing this world, don't forget this.
Don't forget about the hard times, because they've taught you a lot. But don't forget about the good times either. They're the times you will think about for the rest of your life.
Lots of love,
Present Cali
It's funny, now, because time has passed and the days behind you seem so small. College flew by and now you're out doing what you've always dreamed of doing - or maybe not, but you're doing what God has planned for you. You're seeing that life is a mist and it's passing so quickly, but you've come a long way. You have learned so much and God has shaped you in ways you never thought possible. So as the time passes and sunsets turn to sunrises and years go by, don't forget the lessons you have learned.
Don't forget the way God found you when you were at your absolute worst. Don't forget how he continued to wait for you and pursue you through your rebellion, and how he welcomed you with open arms when you finally took a step toward repentance. Don't forget how sneaking around with the wrong guy destroyed you, but worse, how it destroyed your parents' trust and the way your siblings looked up to you. Don't forget that feeling of freedom when you finally decided to be done with deceit, and don't ever forget the life it brought to your eyes when you decided to run toward His marvelous light. When you feel like choosing sin, don't forget this.
Don't forget how he provided for you time and time...and time again. Don't forget how you thought you wouldn't be able to go to your dream school and he paved the way. Don't forget how you felt so trapped in one living situation, and how He brought you to your harbor with community like never before. Don't forget how he became a shield around you when you stood at the bus stop in Belize and the man who approached you didn't attack you. Don't forget how he has calmed the storms in your life and reconciled friendships that you thought were gone forever. Don't forget the way He has provided in His perfect timing every single time. When you feel like choosing fear, don't forget this.
Don't forget how many times you tried to fill your heart with boys. Don't forget how that left you broken and empty and longing for more. Don't forget how many hours you spent at the gym in hopes of achieving a perfect body, only to find that the build-up of your body brought a tear-down of your soul. Don't forget about the memories you missed out on because you were too obsessed with lifting and being fit. Don't forget about the way you cried over missed points and failed tests. Don't forget that you made it through school just fine, and your grades never defined you, and your scores or salaries never will. Don't forget that time that you felt so overcome by the presence of the Holy Spirit that for the first time in your life, you felt like you could be single and still be whole. When you feel like choosing idolatry, don't forget this.
Don't forget about the joy that came in the mornings after hardship. Don't forget about the way your friends granted forgiveness and your Father granted freedom. Don't forget about the sunrises that dry up every drop of rain and don't forget about the way your tear-stained pillows were early-morning reminders of life-changing lessons. Don't forget to rejoice in the midst of sorrow because God uses things like death and scoliosis and failed friendships and breakups to build a dependence on him that otherwise would never be. Don't forget about the joy that comes from simply knowing Jesus, and don't forget that this Earth is the worst thing you will experience because of your long-awaited hope in Heaven. When you feel like choosing despair, don't forget this.
Don't forget about the stomachaches that came from kissing a boy you weren't even dating or having conversations marked by slander and sin. Don't forget about the way sin weighs you down and tires you out, because the devil wants to destroy you. Don't forget that the Bible is encouraging and the internet is not, and the best way to have a friend is to be one. Don't forget that beauty is fleeting and being popular, in the grand scheme of things, means absolutely nothing. Don't forget that the things you said to try to be cool ended up damaging people's perception of your perfect Savior, Jesus, and don't forget that nothing on this earth was ever meant to satisfy you. When you feel like choosing this world, don't forget this.
Don't forget about the hard times, because they've taught you a lot. But don't forget about the good times either. They're the times you will think about for the rest of your life.
Lots of love,
Present Cali