House on the Rock

One of my favorite moments of the trip happened on a Sunday morning in the breezeway. The breezeway was a favorite spot because it was surrounded by palm trees and offered a beautiful place to hammock where the gentle breeze would disrupt the humid air. The breezeway was a place where you couldn't feel temperature. Weather was something you didn't really notice, because it was perfect. It didn't have a chill that brought goosebumps and it didn't bring a sweat-inducing heat. It was so perfect it was nearly intangible. These details aren't really relevant to the story, but it's worth acknowledging how much this location meant to me. It is where my most impactful quiet times happened, my richest conversations, and the moments where God spoke to me most.  This happened beautifully, like I said, on a Sunday morning. We were planning on going to a church in Belmopan (the capital city) called LifeNet. Because the tire on our bus was slashed, we had a bit more ti...

Stepping into a new year always feels a bit overwhelming. Even though it's nothing more than the turn of a calendar, it feels like the perfect time for a fresh start. A change. Time to refresh, rejuvenate, and refocus. A time to celebrate the past year and look forward to the year ahead.  2018 was a year of immeasurable, unimaginable growth. I experienced heart change, surrender, wandering through the wilderness, laughter, misery, desperate prayers, angry tears, and the faithful friendship and Fatherhood of God through it all. It was a year of stripping away selfishness and learning to love better. It was a year of being unshakable as I stood on the firm foundation of my Savior.  I didn't always make the right decision, and I certainly didn't always come out on top. I failed time and time again. I handled situations poorly. I feared when I should have trusted. I gossiped when I should have prayed. I sinned, but God forgives and redeems an...

I will never forget standing on these rocks in Galilee, just a few hundred feet above the sea that was notorious for its ship-smashing storms. These waters were rough - home to winds and waves so powerful that only the voice of God himself could calm the raging surges of rushing water. T he sea is 700 feet below sea level, and its location makes it subject to sudden violent storms as the eastern wind drops over the sea. Needless to say, these waters are rough.  However, standing on these rocks that tower several hundred feet above the sea, we were completely uplifted from the chaos below. In fact, we were lifted so high above the waters that we were able to simply look down on the waters and from where we stood, the storms seemed small.  As I looked out over the waters, I thought about the storms that abounded in my own life. Conflict between friends, fear of disappointing others, jealousy, heartache, broken relationships, loved ones lost, the destructio...

His eyes are an ocean, and not only because of the way the glittering blue sparkles like sunlight but also because of the vastness – a vastness you can get lost in as he looks deep into your soul and his pupils grow wide, the pupils that are dark like a swarming abyss while they expand because pupils grow when looking at something they love, and his pupils have never looked at a person he didn’t love; so it wasn’t a surprise when an elderly woman at church came to me and said, “I think so highly of your father,” because her husband was dying and they were new in town and he was the one to drop everything and cover them in love and his prayers would crash around them in wave after wave just like the ocean in his eyes, and he ordered pizzas for the baseball team when their first-baseman died, not because he had the money but because he has a love that makes him move and it is a love that lets you know that you matter and that you have potential so when he looks at you and his pupils gr...

May it be enough for me to see God in the world. He asked me to go get coffee. Is that okay with you? I know you kind of liked him. May it be enough for me to see God in the world. My picture got almost eight hundred likes! That's crazy because I didn't even post it at prime publicity time. May it be enough for me to see God in the world. My mom just randomly bought me this. I didn't even ask for it because it was probably a couple hundred dollars. She randomly buys me stuff all the time.  May it be enough for me to see God in the world. I got up at 6 this morning to work out. I like to start out my day in the gym because it gets me feeling good and improves my body. May it be enough for me to see God in the world. I spent two hours reading my Bible this morning. You didn't? I just feel like God really cherishes our time with him so that's why I try to get a few hours in.  May it be enough for me to see God in the world. I got a 96. I barely e...

Mom, I'm about to change a lot of things for you.  You and Dad are busy now because you want to do everything right—hastily slapping speckled carpet down in the kitchen that you’ll regret when I’m a toddler. The house on Country Club Terrace isn't ready yet, and the new carpet is one of many impulsive decisions you’ll make in these nine months. But I’m coming, and you're putting carpet down so that the kitchen floor won't give me splinters, and you want to do everything right. You listen to Mozart in the mornings and eat fish oil vitamins because you want to do everything right. You read to me as I sit peacefully inside of you because you know that prenatal reading exposure can drastically change the mental capacity of a child. You've changed your diet for me. You have stopped drinking wine. Your hands habitually return to a folded position on your stomach because you hold me, just like you'll hold me for the next several months in your stomach and the next ...

Providence: (n). God holding everything together for our good and for His glory. Every detail of my life is intricately and intentionally fabricated by God. I thought about the series of events in my life that have brought me to the point I'm at today. This acknowledges the goodness of God and serves as a powerful reminder of His hand in every single aspect of my life. And it all starts with a men's slow pitch softball league. My grandpa operated the ball diamonds, so my mom played on a team and in an effort to get to know my mom, my dad signed up to be a coach. so then he married my mom, and they found their way back to the diamonds when dad was playing on a slow pitch team. my mom came to watch the game and she met Lis Glancy who invited her to MOPS which led to them checking out Pleasant View Church, where my dad eventually became a deacon and then a pastor which built a foundation of faith in my family and led me to accept Christ as my savior but then a ...

I see a girl. A child. My child; one I created with a specific purpose. A child I dearly love. She is wandering. And oh, she is prideful. She is so caught up in herself and her ways that she is not willing to surrender control and lean into me. I love her with an everlasting love. She feels like she is wandering through a desert with no good options out. She doesn't see that I will be with her in any option. She doesn't remember that I am the God who champions in bringing people out of the desert. But I love this girl. I want her to come running to me. I want her to repent of her ways, to abandon her pride. I want her to open her hands and surrender to my will. I want her to wait. She is so unsettled. Searching. Longing. Holding so tightly to what she thinks is best for her. I see her and I love her. O, that she would look up and see that I see her. She mistakes my silence for absence. She doesn't consider the way I let people wander to draw them in clo...

A camel once told me he doesn’t enjoy Hauling people around As if his only purpose in life Is walking from town to new town. But the camel knows that he’s built for the job He is strong and able to travel   So every day he carries these strangers Through the hills and the sand and the gravel  When the camel was just beginning his life His Father told him to carry people’s load. He said, “my son, these people will lose their way. They need you to keep them on the road.” The camel’s father told him that He had quite a burden to bear But everyone in the desert is headed to a place And he's the one to help them get there. “God destined you, Son, to accomplish this task People can’t do it alone For if they were left to carry themselves, They’d never make it out on their own.” So every day, the camel woke up And bowed his body to the ground He let himself be trampled and kicked In order to carry the people around. The ...

This poem is based off of Matthew 23, when Jesus is condemning the teachers of the law and Pharisees for presenting themselves to look like Christians, but actually being dead on the inside. I am so guilty of making myself look like I am on fire for Christ but actually being far from the Lord. It is easy to put on a facade and pretend like your spiritual walk is thriving, but the unfortunate reality is that no one can be "on" all the time. This poem was a convicting reality check and a reminder to be REAL. I should not try to mask how I am doing just to make others think better of me. Whitewashed Tombs The whitewashed tombs have a face, A face that looks like mine. Although the caves are filled with death, On the outside, they look fine.  The whitewashed tombs are polished clean Probably wearing a smile But a deeper look shows brokenness, A death so grim and vile. The whitewashed tombs are lovely to see From a distance, at a glance Yet the inside of ...