House on the Rock

His eyes are an ocean, and not only because of the way the glittering blue sparkles like sunlight but also because of the vastness – a vastness you can get lost in as he looks deep into your soul and his pupils grow wide, the pupils that are dark like a swarming abyss while they expand because pupils grow when looking at something they love, and his pupils have never looked at a person he didn’t love; so it wasn’t a surprise when an elderly woman at church came to me and said, “I think so highly of your father,” because her husband was dying and they were new in town and he was the one to drop everything and cover them in love and his prayers would crash around them in wave after wave just like the ocean in his eyes, and he ordered pizzas for the baseball team when their first-baseman died, not because he had the money but because he has a love that makes him move and it is a love that lets you know that you matter and that you have potential so when he looks at you and his pupils gr...

May it be enough for me to see God in the world. He asked me to go get coffee. Is that okay with you? I know you kind of liked him. May it be enough for me to see God in the world. My picture got almost eight hundred likes! That's crazy because I didn't even post it at prime publicity time. May it be enough for me to see God in the world. My mom just randomly bought me this. I didn't even ask for it because it was probably a couple hundred dollars. She randomly buys me stuff all the time.  May it be enough for me to see God in the world. I got up at 6 this morning to work out. I like to start out my day in the gym because it gets me feeling good and improves my body. May it be enough for me to see God in the world. I spent two hours reading my Bible this morning. You didn't? I just feel like God really cherishes our time with him so that's why I try to get a few hours in.  May it be enough for me to see God in the world. I got a 96. I barely e...

Mom, I'm about to change a lot of things for you.  You and Dad are busy now because you want to do everything right—hastily slapping speckled carpet down in the kitchen that you’ll regret when I’m a toddler. The house on Country Club Terrace isn't ready yet, and the new carpet is one of many impulsive decisions you’ll make in these nine months. But I’m coming, and you're putting carpet down so that the kitchen floor won't give me splinters, and you want to do everything right. You listen to Mozart in the mornings and eat fish oil vitamins because you want to do everything right. You read to me as I sit peacefully inside of you because you know that prenatal reading exposure can drastically change the mental capacity of a child. You've changed your diet for me. You have stopped drinking wine. Your hands habitually return to a folded position on your stomach because you hold me, just like you'll hold me for the next several months in your stomach and the next ...

Providence: (n). God holding everything together for our good and for His glory. Every detail of my life is intricately and intentionally fabricated by God. I thought about the series of events in my life that have brought me to the point I'm at today. This acknowledges the goodness of God and serves as a powerful reminder of His hand in every single aspect of my life. And it all starts with a men's slow pitch softball league. My grandpa operated the ball diamonds, so my mom played on a team and in an effort to get to know my mom, my dad signed up to be a coach. so then he married my mom, and they found their way back to the diamonds when dad was playing on a slow pitch team. my mom came to watch the game and she met Lis Glancy who invited her to MOPS which led to them checking out Pleasant View Church, where my dad eventually became a deacon and then a pastor which built a foundation of faith in my family and led me to accept Christ as my savior but then a ...

I see a girl. A child. My child; one I created with a specific purpose. A child I dearly love. She is wandering. And oh, she is prideful. She is so caught up in herself and her ways that she is not willing to surrender control and lean into me. I love her with an everlasting love. She feels like she is wandering through a desert with no good options out. She doesn't see that I will be with her in any option. She doesn't remember that I am the God who champions in bringing people out of the desert. But I love this girl. I want her to come running to me. I want her to repent of her ways, to abandon her pride. I want her to open her hands and surrender to my will. I want her to wait. She is so unsettled. Searching. Longing. Holding so tightly to what she thinks is best for her. I see her and I love her. O, that she would look up and see that I see her. She mistakes my silence for absence. She doesn't consider the way I let people wander to draw them in clo...

A camel once told me he doesn’t enjoy Hauling people around As if his only purpose in life Is walking from town to new town. But the camel knows that he’s built for the job He is strong and able to travel   So every day he carries these strangers Through the hills and the sand and the gravel  When the camel was just beginning his life His Father told him to carry people’s load. He said, “my son, these people will lose their way. They need you to keep them on the road.” The camel’s father told him that He had quite a burden to bear But everyone in the desert is headed to a place And he's the one to help them get there. “God destined you, Son, to accomplish this task People can’t do it alone For if they were left to carry themselves, They’d never make it out on their own.” So every day, the camel woke up And bowed his body to the ground He let himself be trampled and kicked In order to carry the people around. The ...

This poem is based off of Matthew 23, when Jesus is condemning the teachers of the law and Pharisees for presenting themselves to look like Christians, but actually being dead on the inside. I am so guilty of making myself look like I am on fire for Christ but actually being far from the Lord. It is easy to put on a facade and pretend like your spiritual walk is thriving, but the unfortunate reality is that no one can be "on" all the time. This poem was a convicting reality check and a reminder to be REAL. I should not try to mask how I am doing just to make others think better of me. Whitewashed Tombs The whitewashed tombs have a face, A face that looks like mine. Although the caves are filled with death, On the outside, they look fine.  The whitewashed tombs are polished clean Probably wearing a smile But a deeper look shows brokenness, A death so grim and vile. The whitewashed tombs are lovely to see From a distance, at a glance Yet the inside of ...

If you know me at all, you probably know that I am not a crier. Yes, I cried every single day of second grade, but that's because Lilly Bushong was a jerk (hi Lilly, I know you're reading this). However, something about middle school and high school and life after I became a teenager somehow seemed to rob me of all emotions. I can't really remember the last time I cried. The girls on my floor make me watch military homecoming videos and animal abuse commercials in an effort to leak a single tear, but time and time again, I walk away with a sad feeling in my stomach and Sahara-dry eyes. My roommates always make fun of me because, well, to put it nicely, crying is a talent of theirs and they practice often. I love that about them because it shows that they are real. They are in touch with their emotions and they know how to weep. I sometimes envy the way they are able to just let it all out and cry. No matter how desperately I try to cry, I never ever can. I always bottle...

In my last post, I hinted at the fact that the sea was chaotic. It was filled with storms and surges and in the eyes of the Israelites, it was a place of sheer terror. Shocking, since the ocean is what I picture when I think of my happy place. But the waters that gleam as my place of peace are the same waters that brought about fear, inconsistency, storms, chaos, and wrath. So basically, sea = scary. In the same way, the wilderness was not a friendly jungle with laughing birds and singing bears. It is a scorpion-infested death trap marked by treacherous slopes and steep valleys. Wilderness = also scary. The people of Israel had to face a lot of unknowns, and a lot of scary places. As we hiked these hills and waded through these waters, we got a taste of the fearsome endeavors they were forced to endure. However, despite the difficulty of nature's obstacles, one thing was certain: If you got up high enough on a rock, the obstacles were no match for you. The sea could...

Toward the end of the trip, we stayed at a resort on the shore of Lake Galilee (more commonly known as the Sea of Galilee). My friends and I decided to do devotions one morning as the sun rose. When we woke up, however, a rainstorm was shaking our resort and there was no hope of spending any time outside. Disappointed, I prayed that God would give us a break in the rain to sit by the sea. As I spoke, the sky broke open and the rain stopped. The most beautiful sunrise kissed the morning sky above us and we had over an hour of clear skies to spend time with God. During the quiet time, I studied the story of Jesus walking on the same sea that was in front of me. In Matthew 14, there was a tumultuous storm that brought about mighty wind and waves, and the disciples in the boat were terrified. However, Peter had faith enough to say, "Jesus, let me come to you on the water." Peter gets out of the boat in the midst of the wind and the waves and the raging sea because to him,...

We had been exploring Jerusalem for a few days, and let me tell you, it was cool. Despite a little rain, the weather was beautiful and we got to see the sites that we had been reading about in the Bible for all of our lives. We touched the tomb where Jesus was buried. We took selfies in Bethlehem where they believe the Savior was born. We even did devotions at the trial place of Jesus, where people cried out, "Crucify him!" before sending him to the cross. And while all of that was absolutely awe-inspiring, there was an unfortunate sense of ostentation. These sites had been under the care of various religions, many of which turned these holy places to pretentious displays meant to attract tourists rather than Biblical revelations. That is not to say that I wasn't amazed by the Church of the Holy Sepulcher or the Garden of Gethsemane...because trust me, that was amazing. But the sites were so flashy that I did not experience the fullness of God like I thought I would. ...

On New Year's Eve, thirty-five students from Taylor (most of whom I did not know) flew out of O'Hare and headed toward the Holy Land. I was full of excitement, nervousness, and a feeling of overwhelming peace. I knew that this was where I was supposed to be and God put me on this trip for a reason. I didn't know what he was going to do, but I knew it was going to be big. I suppose I should've been a little more prepared for how big the trip was going to be. Leading up to Israel, I had taken an intense Old Testament Survey course. I had also completed over twenty-seven hours of detailed map work. Academically, I was set. I packed almost my entire bedroom into a suitcase and carry-on. I was prepared for all sorts of weather and every event imaginable - from hiking clothes to swimwear to formal attire to snow gear, I had everything I could possibly think of needing. I thought I was all good. I just simply had no idea that my world was going to be rocked. I was go...

I will NEVER forget the morning of...... okay well I forget the date but I will never forget the morning that God woke me from my sleep with five words on my heart: go sign up for Israel.  Israel??? Where was this coming from??? I mean, I went to the informational meeting. Obviously I wanted to travel to the Holy Land, but I knew that there was no way I would have the money or time to commit to such a challenging trip. At that meeting, two things were confirmed: 1. It was far more money than I was willing to pay. 2. It was far more academically rigorous than I was willing to commit to. So, I threw out the informational packed on my way out the door and considered the whole idea a wash. There was no way I was going to Israel. But God. God got my attention one morning and I saw it clearer than I had ever seen anything before. I knew I had to go to Israel. So I rushed to the Bursar's office and immediately asked to put down a deposit. I hadn't even talked to my paren...